Love is for Children
by Firetoflame
Summary: After the battle of New York goes horribly wrong, Loki realizes that he has underestimated the mighty Avengers, and that the true way to bring them down is not by force but by using something far more powerful and potentially deadly. Can the Avenger's assemble once again, this time not as heroes, but as parents to Loki's latest and possibly most brilliant scheme?
1. Chapter 1

**Six years after the battle of New York…**

Captain Steve Rogers sat idly at the small European themed café two blocks from Stark Tower. He glanced over the front of the daily paper again before turning the page, stretching his arms to block his entire corner of the small outdoor patio. He didn't like being recognized as Captain America. After all this time it still embarrassed him, which was why he usually stuck close to the tower when he wasn't off somewhere under direction from SHIELD. But this café was different. He braved the crowds of boisterous and ever nosy New Yorker's every week for this same seat. A slight _clink _grabbed his attention as his waitress set a small steaming cup of coffee on the round glass table top.

"Can I get you anything else?" she asked, slipping her notepad and pen back into her apron.

Steve smiled up at her and shook his head. He opened his mouth, as if he might say something. The waitress paused for a moment, expectant, hopeful. She was also familiar with the gesture, so she wasn't fazed when Steve simply shut his mouth again. She smiled at him and continued her rounds of customers.

Steve mentally slapped himself, pursing his lips behind the paper before he allowed himself another quick glance.

He had been coming to the same small, overpriced café for the better part of five months. Each week he would sit in one of the uncomfortable wicker spun chairs and wait while the cheery, blue-eyed, brown haired waitress made her rounds. Each week Steve would order the same thing and watch her over his paper. The delicate curve of her lips when she smiled. The gentle tone she used with the younger customers. The sincere conversations she made with the regulars. She was wonderful, perfect, _kind-hearted…_

Steve cleared his throat, adjusting the collar of his checkered shirt which felt somewhat constricting in the afternoon sun.

He ran his hand through his hair, tousling the blond locks, allowing the top corner of his paper to flutter in the wind. He caught another glimpse of the perfect woman who had captured his affection as she passed back and forth, seating a new customer.

Up until this point it was a one-sided, secret affection he held, for this woman was not only too wonderful for words, since he always seemed to be speechless around her. She was also Peggy Carter's granddaughter. Steve had fallen for the twenty-six year old granddaughter of the deceased woman he had worked with over seventy years ago. The woman he thought he might have loved before he fought Red Skull and plunged into the freezing depths of the ocean with the Tesseract, turning himself into the Tony Stark patented, Capsicle.

That was the past though; Steve had to remind himself, for it still felt like yesterday sometimes. Whether or not he loved Peggy once upon a time didn't matter because his reality now belonged to a new world. One that he was still getting used to. For him, World War II and Hydra had raged out of control a mere six years earlier and sometimes the world still caught him off guard.

Steve grinned as he watched Elizabeth Carter collect the empty dishes from one of her tables, the brown waves of hair falling over her shoulder as she loaded up her tray. She caught him staring out of the corner of her eye and gave him a small smile. Steve's heart leapt dramatically and he slid a hand absently to clutch the spot on his chest where he was certain the organ was going to emerge.

The Captain returned the smile and sighed. Another silent exchange. What it meant he couldn't be certain, all he hoped was that he was slowly working his way up to a real conversation with the woman. If it hadn't been for Tony and Natasha meddling on his behalf he never would have known about Elizabeth in the first place. What had started out as a desire to meet the family of the woman who had changed his life in many ways, quickly turned into something much more, at least for him, and maybe one day for her too, if he could work up the courage to open his mouth longer than it took to place his order.

Steve allowed himself to gaze at her a second longer before busying himself with the newspaper again. He might be old-fashioned in many ways, but staring was still as creepy as it had been seventy-six years ago, perhaps even more so now. He wasn't trying to scare her away, but the task of keeping his eyes averted from her posed a real challenge for the seasoned soldier.

Steve felt his eyes drift upwards once more, unconsciously searching for Elizabeth's face, but his attention was diverted when something strange, and yet distinctly familiar appeared in the sky, right above the STARK tower logo. The dark, shadowed form landed easily on the platform and disappeared inside. Steve stared, mouth agape, certain that he had imagined whatever it had been, but something instinctual pulled him to his feet.

Steve felt an awareness peak at the back of his neck, sending an electrifying shiver down his spine as he dropped the newspaper, each section falling apart and drifting to a different resting place on the ground.

He moved slowly, careful not to spill the drink that was still full, as he peered, unblinking into the distance. He sped up, without looking ahead as much as he was staring at the sky, and it was the high-pitched gasp that halted him.

"Oh, gosh!" Elizabeth Carter said, inhaling a quick breath as she turned, crashing into Steve with the tray full of dirty dishes. A plate of uneaten pasta tipped and sprayed along the front of Steve's shirt. "I'm so sorry," Elizabeth gasped, whipping out a napkin and wiping the garlic and pesto sauce from the checkered cotton print.

"It's no trouble," Steve said, gripping her forearms to steady the woman. She had walked into him, but the collision had barely registered with Steve. Elizabeth on the other hand had almost shot backwards. If it wasn't for Steve she would be sitting on the pavement right about now. "My apologies, mam," Steve said, watching the small blush creep into her cheeks.

It was the longest exchange he had ever had with Elizabeth and instead of reveling in the feeling he had an annoying urge to get back to the tower. He wanted to reach inside and crush whatever instincts were driving him forward because his brain was telling him to stay and talk to the doe-eyed waitress.

"Oh, I almost forgot," Steve said, pulling out his wallet. He reached inside without looking and shoved a twenty into Elizabeth's hand. He glanced over her shoulder at STARK tower and began moving forward again, this time breaking into a steady jog.

"Wait!" Elizabeth called after him. "You forgot your change!" She yelled as he retreated from the café, holding up a couple of five dollar bills.

"Keep it," Steve shouted over his shoulder. "Sorry about the mess." And he _was_ truly sorry. He would come back again to apologize properly but for now he had to get to the tower and figure out what exactly it was that he saw.

Elizabeth furrowed her brow, pondering after the strange man. She gave a little shrug and turned back to the table where most of the dirty dishes had landed. She pocketed her generous tip, making a mental note to thank the man later. There was no doubt in her mind that she would see him again.

* * *

_**Chapter 2 is written. Please review and let me know if you'd like to see more. :)**_


	2. Chapter 2

Steve punched the elevator button hastily; using a tad too much force he felt the plastic cave under his hand. "Sorry Jarvis," he muttered.

"Not to worry Captain, the repair men are already scheduled to replace the lounge on the fourth floor. Apparently when Agents Romanoff and Barton attempted to contain Dr. Banner during his last incident, things got out of hand. I'll have the button added to the list of damages."

"Er, right," Steve said to the A.I., shaking off the memory. He remembered the unpleasant feeling of the floor caving in beneath him when Banner went all _Hulk_ on the support beams. "Thanks."

Steve stepped from foot to foot impatiently as the floors dinged. He smelled garlic and pesto sauce in the confined area of the elevator. It reminded him of Elizabeth. His front was wet from her napkin. Steve stilled for a moment. She had touched him. And he had held her. It had been awkward and gawky, but still. They had stood mere inches from each other and he did nothing, said nothing, that would further the relationship he hoped to build. For the second time that day he mentally slapped himself.

When the elevator door burst open on the eleventh floor, Steve piled out and wasn't surprised to see most of the group hanging around. Now that Stark tower doubled as the Avengers headquarters the group of superhero's and master assassins were in contact almost daily. The only exception was when someone was out on a mission.

It all looked normal. It sounded normal. The noise, the laughter, the crude jokes. The sarcastic remarks from Tony. The underhanded death threats from Natasha. Steve had expected all of that. He was, however, not expecting to see the god of thunder strolling through the living room. The prickling at the back of his neck subsided. Thor was the one he had seen appearing from the sky. Just Thor.

Steve sighed, visibly relaxing, even letting out a soft, giddy chuckle of relief. His stupid, overactive imagination had been at it again, formulating the most ridiculous possibilities, for the stupidest reasons. Steve blamed Loki. Once you saw space aliens descending from a giant hole in the sky it was easier to accept the farfetched theories his mind manufactured under stress.

"Captain!" Thor greeted him humbly, clapping him on the shoulder. "I was hoping to see you before I left."

"Left?" Steve said, his eyes pinching together. "But you just got here." It wasn't a statement as much as it was a question.

Thor chuckled. "It always feels that way when you are in the company of good friends. But the hours have drifted by and now I must be on my way. Lady Jane awaits my arrival."

Steve shook his head. _That didn't make sense_. It had only taken him five minutes to reach the tower after bumping into Elizabeth. _Elizabeth_, he thought, how could he have been so clueless? She had been right there in front of him. He could still smell the vanilla hand lotion she used. But wait! Thor had been here for hours?

"Hey, Star Spangled Banner, would you get over here a second?" Tony called. He was waist deep behind the entertainment unit, fishing through a menagerie of wires.

Steve wandered towards Tony, dazed and biting his bottom lip, still trying to figure out what it was that he had seen. _If Thor had already been here for hours…_

"Ow," Steve yelped, curling his fist. He yanked his hand away from Tony who had stuck his index finger into an electrical socket.

"Well it's not the breakers," Tony muttered, diving back down into the wires. He had a flash light clenched between his teeth.

"What was that for?" Steve cried shaking his throbbing hand.

Tony shrugged, removing the flashlight from his mouth. "You were the only one available to be my human conductor."

Steve cocked an eyebrow at the billionaire, who he was pretty sure was slightly deranged. Steve assumed it was from being knocked around inside the Iron Man suit a few too many times. Being that rattled around in space and pushed back through a worm hole by a nuclear blast was bound to knock a few screws loose.

Tony sighed, seeing that the Captain was blatantly unimpressed. "Well I'm not about to shock myself," Tony explained. He pointed towards the couch. "Assassins One and Two over there would slit my throat in my sleep if I used their fingers, we all know who shows up when I electrocute Bruce," Tony continued, reminding everyone about the fourth floor lounge incident, "and unless we want Thor to short circuit the entire tower, that leaves you, Red, White, and Blue."

Steve grimaced.

Bruce cleared his throat and stifled a chuckle under his hand, shielding his face with his coffee mug. "Remember what happened last time Thor used the toaster?" he said, looking over his laptop from the kitchen table.

Natasha smirked, muttering something about Poptarts and freak electrical storms under her breath. Clint's concentrated look melted as his lips curled up.

"Remember how charged the tower was after that," he said to Natasha. "You touched the light switch and your hair was like this." Clint held his hands up around his head. "It stuck up all over the place."

Natasha smirked. "If I remember correctly that wasn't the only thing that was stuck up."

The trained assassin in Clint kept his emotions in check, which kept his face from paling and his cheeks from burning crimson, but Natasha could see it in his eyes. He remembered that day very well.

"How do you put up with her Barton?" Tony muttered. "She's such a tease."

Clint muttered something about her thigh choke hold having more uses than just killing targets and Tony nodded, impressed. Tony looked to Steve who was blushing like a tomato. "I think you're about to give Cap a heart attack," he said, chuckling.

"Don't act so modest Stark, you and Pepper are no better," Natasha said.

"Hey," Tony called. "We are very conscious of our house guests."

"Oh, we know," Clint scoffed. "Do you purposely seek us out before you start the deed?"

"Only where the walls are thin," Tony said with a smirk.

Steve contemplated plugging his ears at that point.

"We don't want to relive your bedroom activities," Bruce said, seeing that Steve had turned a new shade of scarlet. "Any of you," he added, including Tony in the comment. "And we definitely don't want Thor helping with the wiring."

Thor looked around, clearly not understanding the humorous mood that had taken over his friends.

"Exactly," Tony muttered. "But don't worry, we're grounded now." He smiled, diving back into the wire ocean. He began plugging and unplugging things. "Why are there so many goddamn cords?" he grumped. There was a short sizzling zap. "Son of a—"

Natasha's smirk widened. It was a sick, twisted pleasure that she felt, seeing Tony in pain. But it was pleasure none the less.

"So asked her out yet?" Clint said over his shoulder from his spot on the couch. He spied the Captain still nursing his shocked finger and red cheeks, staring at Tony incredulously.

Natasha tilted her head around Clint's body to observe the Captain's face. She was holding an arrow steady as Clint adjusted the end fitting with a small screwdriver. Her red curls draped across her forehead as her brow crinkled. "Nope," she said. "He hasn't."

Steve shook his head in protest. "I was about to," he began.

Natasha's eyebrows shot up.

"Well, not ask her out," Steve corrected quickly. "Well maybe, I don't know, talk to her at least, but then there was this thing and I thought maybe it was Thor but Thor was already here, but he's leaving which means it can't have been him and then I knocked her tray over and made a mess, but I left a good tip and she still doesn't even know my name—"

"Cap, have you been drinking?" Clint asked suddenly, staring at the super soldier intently.

"Can't get him drunk," Natasha reminded him. God knows they tried over the years.

"Who said drinks? I want a drink," Tony said from behind the entertainment unit. Another sizzling pop sounded. "Dammit!"

"No," Natasha said firmly, turning her head fast enough to give someone whiplash. "No, more alcohol, Tony. You're having enough problems as it is." She turned back to the Captain. "Steve, tell us what you saw again, but this time leave out all the hopeless waitress mumbo jumbo."

Steve opened his mouth to start again when he was cut off by a rejoicing Tony.

"Halleluiah, someone break out the good stuff, the damn television is working again." He waved his hand back and forth, crawling out from under a heap of wires. "Go Romanoff, I know you know where it is. And hands off the Vodka. My head is not a target for you to aim your knives at."

"I don't have to be drunk to use you for target practice," Natasha said shrewdly.

"Yes, but you seem to be more apt to forget common decencies, like not impaling me with a three inch blade, when you're intoxicated."

Natasha shrugged, arching an eyebrow. "At least I don't dance around in my underwear wearing the iron man thrusters," she said bitingly.

Clint smirked, eyes leaving the object of his attention to focus on the object of his affection. He leaned forward slightly. "That is something I'd like to see you do," he whispered close to her ear.

She smiled at him, one of those rare, serious smiles, not one of the sultry fake ones she used on targets. She murmured something low, probably in Russian. Whatever it was made Clint's eyes dilate. He gave no further outward signs that her words had affected him, but Natasha could tell that his heart rate had just spiked like he had run a marathon.

"Wouldn't we all," Tony murmured, smacking the back of the remote. He spied the couple of spies questioningly. To this day he couldn't figure out their relationship. Were they together? Most definitely. Did they ever commit to that publically with a definite _yes_? Never. Did they share a suite of the thirteenth floor? Yes. Was there a reason for them to need to share a floor when STARK tower was nothing if not short on space? No.

Tony was good at math. But the equation of their relationship was one he had yet to solve. And there was still the question of what happened in Budapest. Somehow Tony thought the answer to that would explain the relationship conundrum, but he couldn't weasel anything out of either of them. And he once got himself slapped upside the head by Natasha for pestering. Even S.H.I.E.L.D's database had no answers.

One thing S.H.I.E.L.D would have though? Batteries. Tony prided himself with always being one step ahead of S.H.I.L.E.D and its one-eyed director, so why didn't he have any batteries?

"Batteries, I need goddamn batteries," he shouted. "JARVIS! Where did Pepper hide the batteries?"

"In the kitchen cupboard, sir," the A.I. responded automatically.

"Bruce, toss me some double AA's would you?" Tony called, hearing Bruce's chair slide across the floor.

Tony groaned impatiently. "Drinks! I need a drink." He turned as Bruce chucked the pack of batteries across the room towards him.

Natasha still made no attempt to move towards the alcohol hutch as Tony played with the remote. Tony groaned. Natasha and Barton were making goo-goo eyes at each other again in that secret, silent language of theirs. Ever the nosy bastard, Tony liked to know what was going on. Living with spying assassins had proven to be the worst decision he ever made. In frustration, he clicked several buttons and the screen slowly faded from black. "Finally," he moaned. "I swear to god, if we missed Dancing with—da fuck is this?"

Clint stiffened immediately and Tony continued swearing, using every word in the book as one run-on sentence.

"Motherofgoddamnfuckinghellthatsonofabitch!" he shouted, doing a double take. Pepper would have slapped him if she was here, possibly twice.

Steve blinked, staring at the screen, lips pursed in confusion. The others had risen from their seats, or in Thor's case, pulled his head out of the cupboard that was stocked with Poptarts. "Brother?" he said, with his mouthful.

"Reindeer Games, what's it been, like six years?" Tony said uncertainly. He looked around at his fellow Avengers. "Everyone else is seeing this too, right?" Tony pointed at the screen. He poked it several times for good measure. "I am not that drunk yet."

The demi-god on the screen smoothed back his slick black hair, reclining into the chair he was perched on. "Good, you're all here," Loki said, smiling that devious, slimy smile he was known for.

"My least favourite person in the world," Tony muttered, eyes still shifting hesitantly, "how the hell did you get on my T.V.?"

Loki shifted, moving his sceptre from his right hand to his left.

Tony snapped his head around to Thor who still looked confused. "Who gave that bastard back the glow stick of destiny?"

"Come now, Stark. I thought by now we would at least be acquaintances, if not cordial friends," Loki mocked. "Bastard seems so unkind," he said in mock offense.

Tony turned and sneered. "I usually don't talk to people that destroy my tower with an evil alien army," he muttered, twirling the remote in his hand. He clicked a button on the remote. Loki's face disappeared and reappeared on every channel. "This channel selection sucks," Tony said. "Someone call the service provider and tell them all we have is Reindeer Games."

Loki chuckled as Tony tried to cut the power. Smashing his sceptre into the ground, Loki made the lights in the entire tower flicker.

"Enough of your games, Loki," Thor boomed, stepping forward. He had finally regained his composure. "What is it that you want?"

"Simply an audience, dear brother," Loki said innocently.

"Well you have it. Tell us now, how is it that you are here?"

"I thought he was locked up," Bruce murmured in agreement.

Loki chuckled again. "You should know as well as I, doctor, that it is hard to restrain a monster."

Banner pursed his lips, fiddling with his glasses.

"Loki!" Thor threatened.

"My, my, you have a temper today, brother. I have simply come to return something to the Avengers." Loki's smile wrapped around his face.

The six teammates looked around at one another.

Loki grinned. "It is something that was never lost to you," he said. "Though I have no doubt that it belongs to the six of you, entirely." His eyes darkened.

Tony paced in front of the T.V. "And how is it that you come to possess something of ours that was never lost, which essentially means we have no reason to need it."

Loki smirked. "What you may not realize is that your dear Hawkeye was much more use to me when he was under my control, than you think. With his help I managed to gain access to SHIELD's personnel files and subsequently all your information. History. Medical information. Blood samples. Yes," Loki mused. Natasha and Clint glanced at each other warily. "Those proved to be quite useful."

"See, this is why I don't like giving out my blood. Lunatics get a hold of it and look what happens," Tony jeered. "I'm gunna say something to Fury. Me and his one good eye are having a talk!"

"What have you done, Loki?" Steve asked, tired of the demi-gods indirectness.

"You'll have to wait and see, Captain." Loki's eyes travelled, lingering on the man next to Steve.

Clint clenched his fists.

"Hello again, Agent Barton, you look well," Loki said slyly.

Natasha gripped Clint's shoulder.

"And you Agent Romanoff, still hovering around him. Tell me, did you ever manage to wipe the red out of your ledger, or is it still dripping?"

It was Natasha's turn to stiffen. Clint looked over his shoulder at her. "Tahsa," he muttered.

Loki's demented smile widened, until it threatened to slice his head in half. "Such a shame we never got to the intimately killing part," he said. Everyone looked around confused, except for Clint who shuddered once and Natasha who had her teeth clenched. She was flexing her hand, resisting the urge to plunge the blade she had fastened to her thigh through Loki's animated head.

Tony was the one to break the silence. "Reindeer Games stop beating around the bush and get on with it already. I'm shivering in my boots from all your cryptic genetic musings," he quipped, trying desperately to locate the area the hacked television feed was coming from.

Loki's eyes narrowed. "Come find me and we shall continue our discussion. I await your arrival." The T.V. turned off.

"What the hell?" Natasha said, whirling around to look at her teammates. Clint was practicing his deep breathing, much like Bruce often did.

"This is a joke right?" Bruce muttered, unsure. The others looked at him, offering no help.

"Jarvis, can you zone in on the transmitter?" Tony mumbled under his breath, scrolling through images on his phone.

"Sir, it appears the feed is located in this building," the A.I. responded.

"Son of a bitch," Tony muttered locking in on the signal. "The bastard is in the conference room."

Thor lunged for the sliding glass door that led to the patio. With a few swings of his hammer he was soaring upwards.

"Wait," Tony shouted after him. There was a loud crash and thin glass crystals rained down. "I forgot to tell him about the new glass floors," he muttered.

Bruce leaned out the door and stared up at the hole Thor had made in the floor. "I'm sure he's fine. Hulk punches him all the time and he's never complained. He's hard-headed. I think it's all the hair."

Tony shrugged. "Oh well, that was Pepper's twelve percent of input. Her fault."

"Stark! Banner! Move it," Natasha yelled from the elevator where she, Clint, and the Captain were waiting.

Tony raced into the elevator slamming his hand down on the top floor button. He glanced around, eyes widening in surprise. "What do you do, Rogers, keep the shield in your back pocket?"

Steve grimaced at him.

Natasha was cocking the gun she had unstrapped from her thigh. That didn't surprise Tony. Neither did it surprise him when Clint punched his arm forward to activate his bow. They were assassins. Tony didn't doubt that they slept with knives under their pillows, just in case the tooth fairy should attack them in the night.

"JARVIS!" Tony said.

"All ready on it, sir; the suit will be waiting for you if you need it."

"Now I feel left out," Bruce said, adjusting his glasses.

Tony grinned maliciously but Natasha placed her arm on Bruce's shoulder. "Not well were in the elevator, doctor. The other guy doesn't do well in tight spaces."

"Or in open ones," Clint muttered.

* * *

_**Review and Chapter 3 shall be yours :)**_


	3. Chapter 3

When the elevator dinged, letting the group pile out into the conference room, Thor was already faced against his brother. They stood on opposite sides of the room, squaring off. Loki made sure to keep the large oblong table between him and the god of thunder. He wasn't as worried about the others. Bullets and arrows were of no consequence to him.

A cool breeze blew in through the Thor shaped hole in the glass. He had burst in through one of the floor to ceiling windows, shattering enough of the tinted glass to let the waning afternoon light filter in. The sun was about to set, but the eerie glow it made cast long beams of pale yellow light around the room, highlighting something that was completely out of place, hovering over the center of the table. Perhaps it was the only reason Thor had not lunged yet.

"So, this is new," Tony muttered, prodding the unconscious form of the child hovering in mid-air. She seemed to be surrounded by some sort of anti-gravity force-field, which, Tony suspected, was being caused by Loki's new and improved glow stick of destiny.

"A child?" he muttered.

Loki sneered. "Disappointed?"

Tony rubbed his chin in contemplation. "Well yes frankly, you sounded much more ominous on the T.V. She doesn't exactly scream doom and gloom."

As Tony pondered the strange turn of events, the others waited with bated breath. Shocked. Confused. Steve rubbed his eyes, wondering if he was trapped in some sort of deluded dream.

Natasha, not missing a beat, still had her guns drawn, both pointed at her target right between Loki's eyes. Clint's bow had dropped, but only slightly. He was torn between staring at the girl, something particularly familiar about her, and keeping a watchful eye on Loki.

Bruce, ever the observer, immediately started assessing the child. Was she alive or dead? It was hard to tell. She seemed to be in some sort of enforced sleep, but as far as he could see she wasn't breathing, at least, the tell-tale signs of inhaling and exhaling were absent. She seemed completely frozen. She was pale, but still had a pinky flush to her cheeks, which meant oxygen was somehow getting in.

"What purpose do you have with this youngling, brother?" Thor demanded. "Tell me, where have you taken this child from?" His voice echoed with severity as he bore down on Loki who merely grinned, disappearing and reappearing on the other side of the room directly behind Natasha.

"I told you, I have come to return something that belongs to you," he said, directly into Natasha's ear. The seasoned assassin spun without a second thought, firing two shots instantly. They embedded themselves in the wall, shooting drywall dust into the air.

Loki chuckled from the head of the conference table where he had materialized again. It was the spot that was usually reserved for Fury.

"We lost a girl?" Tony muttered doubtfully. He tried to think back through all the boozy hazes, suddenly wondering what exactly he and Banner had gotten up to all those times they were experimenting in the lab. Had they really created some genetic offspring in a test tube? Tony shook his head. _No_. Drunk or sober, he had more sense than that.

Loki almost growled. "I have already explained that she was never lost to you. Do you not understand?"

"Last time I checked I had not fathered any children," Tony began, "especially with any of these freaks." He pointed offhandedly at the group, who all spun with similar looks of utter repulsion on their faces. "So, yeah, I'd say we have a severe misunderstanding going on right about now."

"Look at her," Loki ordered, breathing down their necks. Every time one of the Avengers turned, Loki had rematerialized in another place.

They stared at the girl, stuck in her enforced hibernation, lying limp above the table.

"What do you see?" Loki pressed in a ghoulish whisper. Clint shuddered. It was the same wispy voice Loki had used when he had questioned Clint about Natasha when he was under mind control.

Tony's eyes darted around quickly. _This was a joke. It was a dream. _He was passed out drunk and drooling somewhere. He had to be. Things like this didn't happen. "Ten fingers, ten toes," he said dryly, even though he couldn't see the child's feet because of the shoes she wore. "Healthy as a horse."

"Ever the comedian, aren't we Stark?" Loki mocked.

"I try," Tony muttered.

"How about someone with a little more brain power then." Loki looked around. "That excludes you brother," he said quickly.

Thor glared but Loki continued to faze about the room. "Barton?"

Clint shook his head, refusing to answer the deranged demi-god.

"No?" Loki muttered. "How about your partner then. She likes to talk."

Natasha clenched her jaw, readjusting her grip on her guns.

"Fine then, we'll turn to your leader," Loki sighed. "Captain, what do _you_ see?"

Steve didn't move a muscle. He refused to let Loki see him squirm. He had been noticing things since they first set foot in the room, putting two and two together, arranging and ordering the puzzle pieces.

It had been six years since Loki had descended upon Earth and waged war against the Avengers in New York with his Chituari army.

This child looked to be about six.

Loki had mentioned breaking into SHIELD's encoded files with Barton's help, and stealing information and blood samples.

Steve knew from experience that the only reason you stole blood samples was because you planned to use them for some genetic practice. He had once given blood to a brilliant man who formulated the serum that made him the super soldier he was today.

Loki had used their blood, their DNA for a purpose.

Steve also noticed that the girl had dark red hair that curled just below her shoulders. The same exact shade as Natasha's.

Loki smiled. "Go on Captain, tell them what you see," he taunted. Loki knew he understood. He could tell that Steve saw what he had done.

"Why?" was all Steve managed to say.

"_Why not_?" Loki pressed. "She's everything that is great about the Avengers; the perfect storm of extraordinary DNA. Really she is a marvellous creature." Loki stared admiringly at the sleeping figure.

Natasha's gaze left Loki for a split second, just long enough to lock eyes with Clint.

Bruce cleared his throat. "Just a moment, you said everything great about the Avenger's?" he clarified.

Loki gave a swift jerk of his head in Banner's direction.

"You don't mean to tell me that this child, this little girl is a genetic compilation of six completely different sets of DNA?"

"Indeed, I do, doctor," Loki said slyly.

"Well that's—" Bruce stuttered. "It's—it's…"

"What?" Loki prodded. "Impossible? I should think someone as unique as you, doctor, would know there are no limits to the genetic code that makes up you pathetic mortals. Things can always be played with, manipulated into something else." Loki smirked. "Isn't there a large green fellow that would agree with me?"

Bruce opened his mouth but the words were unformed and he just mumbled incoherently.

"This little girl was created using six sets of DNA, one set from each of the Avengers," Loki declared. "She is quite extraordinary. One of a kind, really." Loki folded his hands behind his back.

"Brother, your trickery will not work," Thor bellowed.

Loki stopped cold. "Do not dispute what your eyes tell you, Thor," he snapped. "Even the likes of you can see the uncanny resemblance. Do not think these mortals are the only beings in the universe to have harnessed the power of artificial creation. Humans are but ants in the grand scheme of things. They have barely scratched the surface of genetic manipulation."

"Okay, okay," Tony said, waving his hands dramatically. "Let's say this kid actually is a mini-Avenger. Why are you so eager to give her up," he asked. The tension was heavy, weighing down the room, but the eerie sense of Loki's deceit was even more prominent. There was something he was hiding.

"Truthfully," Loki began. "As remarkable as she is, the result of combining such powerful DNA means she is also every horrible thing about you. A murderer. Tenacious. Quick to anger. She has violent, uncontrollable outbursts, much like your wonderful doctor here," Loki said with a pompous smirk. "Think tantrum, but on a building leveling scale."

"You still didn't answer my question, Reindeer Games," Tony said. "So she's got some issues, who doesn't? Why are you dumping her on our door step? I mean, you've had her what, five, maybe six years? Why now? What's in it for you?"

Loki chuckled darkly. "Only time will tell I'm afraid. And it really all depends on the six of you. How you choose to proceed from here changes everything."

"What do you hope to happen in time, brother?" Thor boomed. "Nothing you do is ever without cause."

"Indeed," Loki said again, with a smile.

"We're being played," Banner said quickly.

Loki's smile turned into a full blow grin. "Good luck," he whispered before fading out. Thor made a grab for his robes but all he caught was wispy smoke.

It took several minutes for everything to sink in. In that time Loki did not reappear so it was assumed that he had gone for good.

"What now?" Banner asked suddenly. His eyes found Tony's, who looked to Thor, who glanced at Clint, who found the Captain again, who settled on Natasha.

"Why are you all looking at me?" she snapped.

"Right," Tony said nodding. "Cold, heartless killer overrides any maternal instincts you might have had."

Natasha glared at him. "Coming from the drunk," she said.

"Social drinker," Tony corrected her. "Cap, I think this one's all on you. You're good with kids. Do something."

Steve rolled his eyes, turning away from Tony, hearing a clunk. The girl had fallen from her state of suspended sleep, landing in the middle of the conference table, scattering paperwork and empty paper cups.

Her eyes shot open. Immediately she cringed in on herself, pulling her legs into the fetal position as she rolled over grunting and clutching her head. "Son of a—"

"Hey," Steve said automatically. "Watch the language. You're like what? Five? Six?"

For that he received a hard glare.

"I like her," Tony mumbled, stepping around the table to inspect the tiny child.

She sat up, rubbing the back of her head. Her lips pulled into a grimace. "Where am I?" she murmured.

"STARK tower," Steve said, stepping forward.

The girl focused on his face, pausing to take in each detail. Warm, honey coloured hair, washed-out blue eyes, defined jaw, wide shoulders. She knew who he was.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing here?" Tony asked. The girl flipped her eyes to him, noting the cocky confidence that oozed out of every pore. It seeped into the way he spoke, the way he walked, the way he ran his fingers through his dark, greying hair. He was Ironman.

She shrugged in response before asking, "Where's Loki?" She wasn't exactly sure how she had ended up in STARK tower. All she knew was that he had been involved. It didn't really surprise her. When Loki was involved things happened, not bad things per say, but definitely strange things. This qualified as strange, not because she didn't know who these people were. She knew every one of them. Their faces. Their histories. The battles. The victories. The losses.

It was the voices that made the encounter strange. The Captain spoke with inherent warmth, like the hot sun on her skin, firm and reassuring. He looked dependable. Kind. Every bit the hero she had heard of.

Tony was sleek and snippy; chide comments and uncontrollable sarcasm slipping off his tongue like a purr from a well-oiled engine. He used it to cover the uncertainties he had, his voice sounding every bit as hollow as the Ironman suit he wore.

Doctor Banner was slow to speak, considerate of every word, thoroughly processing each thought before he made it public, as if worried about offending some unseen voice. That's exactly what is was. He tip-toed around, forever wary of the Hulk that lurked within.

The Assassins, well, they sounded as wary and suspicious as she had always envisioned. They spoke in quick, short bursts, the harsh Russian passing between them like a stiff drink. The man, Clint Barton, he had a softness to his voice, masked by rough gravel. The woman, Natasha Romanoff, was all hard. Her voice was firm and commanding.

In a way it made them real. More than the stories she had been fed. More than the reports she had been read. They were actual living, breathing people with thoughts and opinions and voices of their very own

"Loki is gone," a deep, booming voice rang out. The girl shuddered hearing it. She turned slowly, coming face to face with the god of thunder. He was every bit as terrifying as Loki always described him. His voice matched his intimidating stature.

She stared at Thor and for a moment he stared back. Then he did something that surprised her. He smiled.

_Strange._

"Do you have any idea what you're doing here?" Natasha asked, stepping forward. She froze as the child met her eyes. All she saw was herself, a younger, more innocent version, one that had yet to be taken in by the Red Room. She almost choked. The girl blinked and Natasha's eyes focused. That was the only difference between them. The girl had Clint's eyes. Steely blue-grey.

"невероятный," Clint said to her. _Incredible._

"Я в это не верю," Natasha responded, keeping the conversation private. _She didn't believe what she saw. _It made even less sense than an alien army descending out of a hole in the sky.

"Если то, что Локи, это правда, и она опасна, что же нам делать с ней_?_" Clint narrowed his eyes. Loki was a trickster. He was evil. There was a theory to all his madness. _What did they do with the girl?_

"Она шесть, Клинт," Natasha scoffed. _What did they have to fear from a six year old?_

_"_Сколько вам было лет, когда вы начали убивать_?"_ Clint asked. Natasha seemed to overlook her youth with the Red Room. _Age was only a number. In their line of work it meant nothing_.

Natasha sighed. _"Это совсем другое. Мы не знаем, ее цель здесь."_

Clint frowned. _It wasn't that different._ _Until her purpose was clear, the girl was a threat._

" Моя цель, чтобы убить тебя," the girl said to them in perfect Russian. Natasha gasped but Clint was already on it. The team had been watching the heated, foreign exchange and each of them cried out in panic as the girl hit the table, face first. There was a tiny tranquilizer dart in her neck. Clint lowered his bow.

"We have a problem," he and Natasha said together.

* * *

_**Google translated the Russian, so if any of you speak Russian and this is an embarrassment to your language, I apologize profusely. Truthfully I'm still trying to understand the whole backwards letter thing and why some of the letters (er... symbols?) look like pi (3.14, not apple) Reviews are welcome :)**_


	4. Chapter 4

Bruce and Steve lunged towards the table in the same instant. "W-what was that for?" Steve stammered. "You shot her!"

"It's only a tranquilizer," Clint said, shrugging.

"You shot her!" Steve repeated, his voice jumping an octave. "She's a girl, Clint. A little girl."

"A dangerous little girl," Natasha said, cocking an eyebrow. "Leave it to Loki to ditch us with a child that—"

"Exactly," Steve cried. "She's a child. What is wrong with you two?"

"Indeed," Thor echoed. "What has happened to the child?" He looked between his teammates, sounding concerned as he scoped the room, half expecting Loki to reappear. His hammer rested on the table but Thor clenched his fist slowly, preparing to summon Mjolnir at any moment. "I do not understand."

"No one understands," Steve said critically, turning to the assassins. "Maybe you should converse with your team before you go off and shoot people, especially ones that are small and defenceless." His eyes narrowed.

"She's not dead, Cap," Natasha sighed. "Just knocked out for a while. Trust us, it's better this way."

Clint strung his bow back over his shoulder. "Look—"

"I don't want to hear it, Clint," Steve said sharply. "You two always bull head into things. Bantering back and forth in Russian and then _bang_, you shoot her." He turned to Bruce. "Is she okay?"

Bruce immediately leaned over the table and started feeling for a pulse. First he checked the girl's neck, searching for the carotid. It was weak and thready, so he checked the radial pulse at her wrist, noting how delicate and tiny she was. He shifted his sleeve up so he could use his watch to count off the seconds as he measured her heart rate.

"Pulse is weak," Bruce said.

"See!" Steve began.

"But the tranquilizer should slow down her central nervous system," Bruce continued.

Clint crossed his arms. "She's fine, Cap."

"I didn't say that," Bruce said, turning to Natasha and Clint. "Her breathing rate is less than I'd like it to be."

Tony was perched on the edge of the table, humming gently under his breath as the rest of the team argued. He scrolled through the layouts of STARK tower on his phone, ensuring Loki was nowhere in the building before turning to his team. "Reindeer Games is out as far as I can tell, but maybe Assassins One and Two should enlighten us to their Russian exchange," he muttered, crossing his arms. "That might clear up this entire debacle."

The room grew silent. Bruce laid his hand across the girl's forehead, noting that her temperature was normal, busying himself but listening intently. Steve crossed his arms expectantly and Thor plopped down in the nearest seat, cradling his head in his hands, feeling a tight tension grip his skull. Loki was no longer in the Asgardian prison. He was also well prepared to deliver the girl to STARK tower, having planned it out, which means there was a good possibility that Loki had been leaving the prison all along, without Thor or the All-Father knowing. Thor groaned. That meant Jane had been in danger this entire time.

"She said her purpose here is to kill us," Natasha said quickly, before Steve combusted. He was fuming, the backs of his ears burning red.

Thor groaned even louder. _What exactly had Loki been up to and for how long?_

"She also speaks and clearly understands Russian. Loki made sure she knew how to speak Russian, the one language Nat and I use when we don't want people eavesdropping," Clint pointed out.

"You really spilled your guts to Loki, huh Barton?" Tony quipped.

"I've got another dart, Stark, don't make me use it," he said through gritted teeth.

"Enough of this mindless banter," Thor said. "Loki is mad and a war criminal; I do not doubt that, but to send a child after us. What would that accomplish?"

"Firstly," Tony began. "He's your bro—"

"Adopted," Thor boomed.

"Adopted brother," Tony said. "So if anyone is going to understand his motives it should be you. Secondly, this girl is more than what she seems," he said surely, eyeing the knocked-out figure once again. "Can't you just sense it?"

Steve nodded as Tony continued, "Let's get her out of here. There's a spare room on fourteen. Never been used. She can stay in there. It's beside security so someone can keep tabs on her."

"Apparently we've just been downgraded from Avengers to glorified babysitters," Natasha muttered.

"Add that to your call sign Stark," Clint said with a smirk. "Genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist-babysit ter."

"Who cares about that right now," Bruce cut in. "We have bigger problems."

"Bigger than explaining this mess to S.H.I.E.L.D?" Natasha questioned with a smirk that matched Clint's, knowing how well Fury and the not-so-dead Coulson were going to take the news of Loki's escape, not to mention the girl.

Bruce nodded, turning to Tony. "How are you going to tell Pepper?"

Tony scowled, biting his lip. "That's a problem," he agreed, running his fingers through his hair, messing it up and smoothing it out again as he wracked his brain. He hadn't gotten to that part yet. But Bruce was right. This was going to take some planning. Maybe over dinner. Roses. Candle light. How did you just drop something like this on Pepper Pots? Oh, by the way Pepper, well you were gone, I acquired an illegitimate, genetically engineered child who is one-sixth mine. Tony cringed. It didn't sound good in his head, so it probably would sound worse out loud, but maybe after a few glasses of hard liquor—

"Tell Pepper what?" the strawberry blonde woman asked uncertainly as she stepped out of the elevator, dropping her briefcase and slipping out of her heels. "Please no more problems. I can't deal with anymore—"

Pepper froze. "What happened to the window?" she cried, rushing forward, right towards the table. She froze again. She held out a shaky finger towards the girl. "This is new," she whispered, feeling slightly insane.

"Shit," Bruce muttered.

Natasha turned, offering Tony a sympathetic frown.

Clint laughed, "Perfect timing, as usual."

Tony's mouth dropped to the floor and the rambling started. He debated for a moment. He could still run. But she would find him. She always did. Jarvis would sell him out.

Tony sighed dramatically, having decided that there was really no other way to explain the girl he said, "Honey, the Avengers have a kid."

Pepper didn't faint upon hearing Tony's confession, which was a good sign; then again, she was used to hearing strange things come out of his mouth, like after the battle of New York, _"So I just fell out of the sky after annihilating an alien army with a nuke destined to blow up Manhattan and I think we should open a shawarma joint. It can be Stark and Potts, or Potts and Stark, whatever you want, just as long as the word shawarma's in the title."_

Still, as familiar as Pepper was with Tony's idiosyncrasies, she had collapsed into the chair Bruce pulled out for her next to Thor, shaking her head in a confusion laced haze. She looked from the girl curled up in the center of the table, eyes wide, to the Thor sized hole in the conference room windows, to the bullet holes in the wall and sighed internally. She was only gone one day.

"Please tell me you didn't kidnap her," Pepper begged as soon as she found her voice again.

"Not exactly," Natasha murmured.

"Oh thank God," Pepper said, clutching her chest.

"I think we sort of adopted her," Tony muttered, not really sure since Loki had left the girl with them. He supposed it was reckless abandonment on Loki's part, but that would never hold up in court. He was the god of mischief after all; you couldn't really expect him to be any good at taking care of a child, especially when he was supposedly locked up in prison. Tony frowned. Apparently prisons in Asgard were a _come and go as you please_ type of arrangement.

It took several minutes for Tony to get Pepper to say anything else. Her eyebrows laced together as she studied the child and in that time the Avengers tried their best to explain what exactly happened in the hour preceding her arrival, starting with Steve's experience at the café and ending with Clint shooting the girl.

"So you're all telling me that this little girl has been genetically engineered by a sadistic god and pumped full of your DNA," Pepper said, just to clarify everything. It was best to do that when you were dealing with the Avengers. Tony only ever told half-truths, Clint and Natasha lied for a living, Bruce just opted not to speak most of the time, and Thor was Asgardian and didn't know how to use the toaster, so Pepper didn't really think his words held a lot of weight. The only one she could ever get a straight answer from was Steve, but right now he had his mouth clamped tight and his eyes narrowed in Clint's direction.

"Not just mine. Theirs too," Tony said, gesturing to the rest of the group. "This isn't my fault. I just want to say that up front so we are all on the same page. For once, I didn't do it," Tony said slowly, deliberately.

Pepper looked over at the girl one more. "This is impossible and yet it's happened. She's here," Pepper said, gesturing to the child. "Loki's lose and Phil is going to freak."

Natasha cleared her throat. "We're going to keep this quiet for a little longer," she said, eyes flipping to Clint. He nodded.

"Until we get everything sorted out, S.H.I.E.L.D doesn't need to know," he agreed. The rest of the team nodded, even Steve, although begrudgingly.

Pepper nodded too. "Poor child, being dumped with you six. That's rough. But I suppose it's better that she's here instead of with Loki until everything is settled." She looked back at the others. "Don't you guys ever deal with normal problems? Bank robbers. Car thieves. Why is it always some twisted, otherworldly, life-altering ordeal?"

Natasha scoffed. "Everything was normal until this guy and his hammer fell out of the sky." She pointed at Thor, who looked around sheepishly. "Then the whack jobs from space started appearing and voila, we have a kid."

Pepper sighed. "Well, I'm going to bed. I feel like if I go to sleep it might turn out that this is all a bad dream. I know it's wishful thinking but I'm going to try." She glanced at Tony. "You better make sure someone keeps an eye on her. I don't want any mysterious deaths in the tower. It's bad for publicity and you know you're reputation is still suffering after that drunken incident on 47th." She gave him a hard look.

"I don't remember that," Tony mumbled.

Clint flipped out his phone. "We took pictures," he whispered, passing it to Tony who took one look at the screen and scowled.

"It's probably good I can't remember this."

"Exactly," Pepper responded before kissing him on the cheek and disappearing towards the elevator. "Oh, and for the love of God, Clint, don't shoot her anymore. I'm not sure, but I think it qualifies as child abuse."

Clint gave a vague shrug.

Pepper shook her head back and forth in disbelief as the elevator doors opened. "Twenty-four hours," she mumbled. "I was only gone twenty-four hours." She stepped inside the car, turned and frowned. "Hey," she called. "What happened to the button?"

Steve ducked behind Natasha. Pepper's eyes narrowed as she called Jarvis.

"Already on it Ms. Potts," the A.I assured her.

Pepper gave a half smile. At least some things never changed. She could always count on Jarvis.

* * *

**Reviews are always fun. Leave one if you have time. Thanks :)**


	5. Chapter 5

Tony and Clint had argued for the entire elevator ride. By the time they hit fourteen, Bruce could feel his pulse racing. Knowing he had to calm down he took a few deep breaths holding onto the wall.

"You okay?" Natasha whispered. She didn't like the looks of him.

He smiled reassuringly at her. "I've got it."

She nodded as he turned to face Tony and Clint. "Maybe she was sent to kill us," he said, gesturing to the girl in Thor's arms as he back into the spare room and laid her on the bed. "Maybe she wasn't. At this point, unless you're going to shoot her again or tie her up, we need to do something because she's waking up. Her pulse is quickening."

"Already?" Clint said. "She should be out for hours. That dart is meant to take out full grown men."

"If she really is pumped full of our DNA, Steve's serum would burn the tranquilizer off quickly," Bruce explained.

"How long do we have?" Clint asked.

"About an hour at the most," Bruce mumbled. "She'll be groggy." He glanced outside. "It's getting late. Hopefully she'll be tired and just go back to sleep."

"I think we all need some sleep and then we'll regroup in the morning," Steve said, rubbing at his eyes with the pads of his thumb and forefinger.

"But what about the child?" Thor asked, gesturing to the giant bed in the never-before-used spare room where the girl slept. He looked around at his team who all gave half shrugs.

"I'm beat," Tony muttered. "And I don't do children or bedtime stories or any of that crap. You need a shower," he said, pointing at Steve. "What did you do, roll around in a vat of pasta?"

"I had a small collision," Steve mumbled.

"Well, I regret not being able to stay but I must return to Asgard at once and speak to the All-Father. If Loki has escaped, the realms are indeed in danger. My people must be notified."

"Good, good," Tony said. "I almost forgot about Reindeer games. You go do that."

"I shall return as soon as I am able. Will you be able to manage the girl until I return?"

Clint scoffed.

"That settles it," Tony said, clapping the archer on the back. "Assassins One and Two volunteer for watch duty first. If this kid is really going to try to murder us in our sleep they are best equipped to handle it. Think you can deal with this?" Tony asked them.

Natasha smirked and Clint bit back a chuckle.

"She's six," Natasha said.

"A six-year old, genetically modified human/Asgardian tater-tot dropped on our door step by none other than the god of mischief himself," Tony corrected her. "Don't under estimate anything to do with Loki."

Clint's smile didn't leave his face. "I'm sure we'll manage, but just in case, how about we have Jarvis keep tabs on her and alert everyone if she decides to attack in the night and Nat and I are her first victims."

"Fair enough," Tony said. "I feel safer already," he mumbled sarcastically. "First one up makes the coffee. Unless it's you Steve. Don't touch the espresso machine!"

The Avengers muttered farewells and goodnights, leaving for their own floors, except for Clint and Natasha, who settled into the security room next door and with Jarvis' help, kept tabs on the sleeping child.

Natasha shuffled the playing cards again, breaking the deck and doling out another game of poker.

"I still say this would be more fun if it was strip," Clint muttered, picking up his cards and frowning at his hand.

"In your dreams, Barton," Natasha smirked, grinning as she shuffled her own cards around.

"No, in your dreams," Clint said. "I'm losing, so I'd already be naked by now. You're missing out on all this." He gestured to himself but Natasha wasn't paying attention.

"Clint, look," she said in a heated whisper, nodding towards the screen of one of the video feeds. The girl had finally woken and gotten out of bed after tossing and turning for a few hours. She moved quickly across the floor, handing tapping the automatic door.

Natasha heard it roll open and the patter of tiny footsteps as the girl drifted by the door of the security office.

"I guess we could have locked her door," Natasha said as an afterthought.

"Too late. Come on," Clint said, grabbing his bow. "Let's see where she's going."

The two assassins emerged from their room, weapons drawn, despite the low grade threat. How unruly could a six year old that barely came to their elbows be?

Clint's head snapped back and forth as if he was watching a tennis match. Left. Right. Left. Right. The girl was gone.

"She's fast," Clint murmured. "Where'd she go?"

"You didn't expect her to linger in the hall, did you? You saw her body language. Straight. Focused. She's on a mission," Natasha said, peering around Clint to clear the hall. She trusted Clint. She really did. He was more than just her partner. But though his eyesight was unparalleled, she couldn't help but double check his observation.

Clint smirked at that, like he usually did, lowering his bow now that he was certain the child wasn't going to swing out of the rafters and try to behead them.

They stood in silence for a second before they heard the rhythmic patter of feet.

"She's quiet too," Natasha murmured.

"She took the stairs. That was smart," Clint said as they moved to the stairwell. Slipping inside the dimly lit area of the building, Natasha nodded. Clint was right behind her as she peered down between the railings and saw the flash of clothes. The girl had left the stairs and disappeared into the eleventh floor door.

"What is she doing?" Natasha wondered.

"Searching for dirt on us," Clint offered. "Doing Loki's bidding."

Natasha cocked a perfectly arched eyebrow at him. "In the lounge?"

Clint shrugged. "Maybe she just wants to watch T.V."

Natasha turned, descending down the stairs. She tucked one of her guns back into the strap on her thigh. She didn't really think the pint-sized girl necessitated both guns.

"Confident are we?" Clint said with a smile.

"I didn't see you lining up an arrow," she replied.

"Touché."

They hit the eleventh floor landing and slipped inside the door that branched off the lounge's back hall. The rooms were dark but Clint's eyes quickly adjusted, scanning the open layout for movement.

"This way," he whispered to Natasha, having seen a flash of white quiver against the dark backdrop. This was one of the times Natasha had to completely trust Clint. She couldn't see a damn thing. It was situations like this, early in their partnership, that Natasha would have had to swallow down the apprehension and fear plaguing her mind. When they were still learning to trust one another, situations where Clint was solely responsible for her life made her incredibly anxious. Now it didn't bother her one bit as she followed him through the dark room, listening to the murmured instructions he gave her.

"There's a step," he said.

They had descended into the sunken living room.

"Couch on the right," he whispered.

"Where is she?" Natasha asked.

"Kitchen," Clint said, taking Natasha's upper arm and gently pulling her alongside him so they were both flattened against the wall. Clint looked over his shoulder, glancing around the corner of the wall, into the kitchen.

The light beneath the microwave-oven was on. It was dim, barely illuminating the top of the stove below it. The hazy glow did manage to bounce off the counters, reflecting against the marble sparkle. It threw the girl into silvery shadow as she peered around.

Clint felt Natasha hug her body close to his chest as she looked around him. He could see the curiosity reflecting in her emerald eyes as she stared, unblinking.

"A kitchen raid?" Clint whispered down to her, so quietly that it was almost inaudible. Except for the fact that Natasha could feel his breath tickle the top of her head, she might never have known he was speaking.

Natasha watched in silence, the rhythmic rise and fall of Clint's chest putting her into a lucid trance. She observed the girl, who was quietly rummaging through cupboards. "We forgot to feed her," Natasha muttered suddenly. "Six adults and no one gave her anything to eat."

Clint grimaced. "We were kind of busy debating whether or not she was going to kill us. But she looks pretty accustomed to fending for herself," he said.

"There was also the fact that you tranquilized her," Natasha said. "And if she spent her first six years with Loki then I'm not surprised that she's learned to be self-sufficient," she muttered, watching the girl rip open a box of Poptarts. "Loki doesn't strike me as the fatherly type."

They watched as the girl fumbled with the foil wrapper, cringing at the sound it made when she pulled the two sides apart. She munched contentedly for a few minutes, emptying a box of Poptarts, before continuing her search.

"Definitely a combination of Thor and Steve," Clint said. "Check out the appetite."

The girl's eye wandered upwards where they locked on a small green jar on top of one of the cupboards.

Natasha smirked.

The girl took several steps back, until she was pressed up against the dishwasher, then she sprinted, locking her feet after the third step and catapulted herself upwards. She cleared the counter, easily landing on top of it in a crouch. Her arms shot up and claimed the jar that sat idly on the upper cupboard.

"Those are mine," Clint whispered. "How'd she even know they were there?"

"Apparently she shares your sweet tooth for peanut butter cookies," Natasha chuckled.

"So we just tracked our target down to watch as she devoured a jar of peanut butter cookies," Clint said bemusedly. "What now? Do we call the authorities or handle this the S.H.I.E.L.D way?"

"Definitely not the most high-caliber assignment we've ever worked," Natasha agreed. "But I think it gets top five for most interesting."

Clint looked down at Natasha and stifled a snort.

"You keep a list?" he asked.

She nodded. "Don't you?"

"A favourites list maybe," Clint shrugged.

Natasha's lips curled at the corners. "And what qualifies as a favourite?"

"First time we met," Clint said.

"You mean the time you were set to kill me?" Natasha asked incredulously.

Clint nodded. "It was our first meeting. And the first time I convinced you to work for S.H.I.E.L.D."

Natasha nodded. There had been several occasions where he had to convince her to that she could do it, give up her old ways and be a part of a team, a partnership. Each time he had to show her it was worth it, he made a breakthrough, tearing down her walls, and earning her trust.

"What else?" Natasha asked curiously.

"Budapest," Clint said instantly. "For obvious reasons."

Natasha smirked. If she had a favourites list, Budapest would definitely be on it.

"And after New York."

"After New York? You mean once the battle was over?"

"I'm talking post-shawarma," Clint said.

"That hardly counts as an assignment then," Natasha argued.

"Hey, we were both still suited up. In my books we were still on the job."

"Well we didn't stay suited up for very long," Natasha murmured.

"Exactly," Clint smiled cheekily. "That's why it makes top-five."

Natasha nudged his chest playfully. Clint opened his mouth to say something when his head suddenly snapped around, having felt something tug on his pants. Natasha inhaled quickly, staring down at the brilliant blue eyes. The girl stood quietly beside them, patiently waiting for a break in their conversation.

Natasha gaped. _How did she sneak up on them?_

The girl reached for Clint's hand and he tensed. Natasha stared, as mesmerized as she was shocked. The girl slowly uncurled Clint's fingers with her small ones and placed two peanut butter cookies in his hand. Then she folded his fingers back down and left the kitchen, slinking down the hall and disappearing through the door. They could hear her quiet patter on the stairs again.

Natasha shook her head.

"This one definitely makes top-five," Clint agreed.


	6. Chapter 6

"So I hear you stalked a cookie thief in the night," Tony said as he bustled into the kitchen, flicking switches on the coffee maker and barking instructions to Jarvis. "It's too early," he muttered to no one in particular.

"Yep," Clint said, sucking back his third cup of straight black coffee. He and Natasha had spent the rest of the night avidly watching the video feed. Even when the girl had once again settled into the over sized bed, becoming a tiny speck among the pillows and comforter, they watched.

Now they both felt like they had been up all night drinking. Their heads ached and their eyes drooped.

"No Pepper?" Natasha asked groggily.

Tony shook his head. "She had a meeting early this morning. She'll be back around dinner."

"How's she taking it?" Natasha wondered, biting into a piece of toast.

"Surprisingly well. I mean, she might be in denial, but she hasn't hit me yet, which is a good sign."

Natasha nodded in agreement.

"Where's the tater-tot anyway?" Tony asked, helping himself to one of Thor's Poptarts.

"Steve relieved us this morning," Natasha said, nodding behind her to where Steve sat on the couch with the girl. She was staring at the T.V. screen, mouth open.

Tony cocked his eyebrow. "She's never seen a T.V. before?"

"Apparently not," Clint said.

"Has she said anything interesting?" Tony wondered, stuffing the last of the Poptart in his mouth before leaning over the counter to wash his hands.

"She doesn't say much," Clint said.

"Well, have you said anything to her?" Tony asked.

"Not really," Clint admitted.

Tony nodded thoughtfully. "You two going to hit the hay?" he asked.

Clint waved his hand, taking another deep sip of coffee. "We've stayed up longer than this before."

Natasha eyed him.

"Or maybe we're going to hit the hay," he corrected. "You good with this whole situation?" Clint asked as he gestured wildly behind him.

Tony shrugged. "Me and kids are a no-no, but Rogers looks like he has things under control. And Banner's here. What's the worst that could happen?"

"I've heard that before," Natasha said, pulling Clint off the bar stool and towards the elevator. "It never ends good."

"Says the woman who kills people for a living," Tony replied.

A loud crack of lightning burst through the sky around STARK tower just as Natasha opened her mouth to respond. Dark clouds suddenly blew in over New York, eclipsing the bright morning. The girl turned her head to the sky expectantly and smiled as a bolt of lightning struck the tower just outside the lounge.

Bruce jumped, gripping the edge of the table as the windows in the lounge shook. Tony swore and spilt half his coffee down his front as he turned towards the balcony. Steve looked over also, but slowly, determined to keep at least one eye on the girl at all times.

Natasha and Clint were the only ones who didn't react to Thor's less than subtle entrance. They kept a low conversation going, flipping between English and Russian.

"I have searched the far realms of Asgard," Thor declared as he walked into the room, being conscious of the glass doors this time. "There is no sign of Loki. I have also spoken to my father, seeking his advice. He would like to see the child."

"The tater-tot just got here," Tony said, biting into another Poptart. "Isn't there some rule about whipping around the galaxy too much? You know, it makes your head swell, ears pop, that kind of thing."

Thor ignored him. But it was Clint that protested this time.

"I'm not sure she should be unsupervised."

"She is of Asgard," Thor said. "And I am more than capable of monitoring a child."

"This is Loki," Steve cut in. "I think it is best that she stays where we are. In case he comes back."

"And besides," Natasha said. "We don't even know if she really is of Asgard. Loki might have been lying. It wouldn't be the first time."

"One way to find out," Tony said, looking to Bruce who shrugged.

"It wouldn't take very long," he said. "I just need a couple vials of blood."

"No," Natasha said. "She's not some prized experiment waiting to be poked and prodded."

"That's exactly what she is," Tony said. "And we need answers."

"It doesn't have to be right this second," Natasha said. "Give the girl a chance to settle in. I mean, we don't even know her name yet. You keep calling her tater-tot."

"True," Tony said. "I think it has a nice ring to it, though."

"Tony!" Natasha grumbled.

"Alright, alright. I don't want to argue with a grumpy assassin. You and Clint go get your beauty sleep. We'll take blood later when you can be around to supervise. Does that make you happy?" Tony offered.

"Marginally," Natasha said, dragging Clint towards the elevator again. "Don't do anything stupid," she said to Tony.

He just smiled.

The force of the explosion shook the entire floor of Clint and Natasha's suite.

"Shit," Natasha said, rolling out of Clint's arms and off the side of the bed. She landed in a crouch, head snapping up. Clint scrambled into a sitting position.

"What time is it?" he muttered, feeling disoriented. He rubbed his face with his hand.

"Three," Natasha said. "Afternoon, not morning," she continued, seeing Clint's bug-eyed expression. They had only been asleep for five hours. "What the hell was that?"

"Hulk?" Clint suggested, fumbling for his shoes in the dim room. Jarvis had closed the curtains to block out the relentless afternoon sun.

"God, I hope not," Natasha muttered, loading her guns. "If this has anything to do with Tony, I'm gunna kill him."

The two assassins whipped out of their suite and down the stairs before either of them had a chance to breathe.

The scene in the lounge was as comical as it was terrifying, Natasha noted as she and Clint barreled into the room, weapons drawn. Steve was red in the face from screaming. Bruce looked like he was trying very hard to compose himself. His arms and legs shook and he had his head tilted as if looking at Tony might ignite a fiery inferno of rage.

"You could have killed her," Steve shouted.

"She caught it, didn't she?" Tony said blatantly.

"And if she didn't?" Steve asked incredulously.

"There'd be a hole where her intestines go," Bruce muttered evenly. He wasn't quite impressed with Thor and Tony's little experiment either. And neither was another large, green guy, but Bruce was trying his best to keep him at bay.

"Thor threw his hammer at the girl?" Clint asked, slightly in awe but mostly appalled. " And she caught it?"

"I thought only Thor could wield the hammer," Natasha said, tucking her guns back into their holsters. No need for them here.

"She _must_ be of my blood," Thor said.

"Couldn't find an easier way to prove your theory, Tony?" Natasha asked incredulously.

"Well, what the heck was that noise that hurled us out of bed?" Clint said staring around. "It sounded like you guys took out half the building."

Steve and Thor stepped out of the way so he and Natasha could see the hole in the wall where the hammer had disappeared. It looked like it went through half a dozen walls before exiting the building.

"Don't worry," Tony said assuredly. "None of them were support walls."

Natasha glanced around quickly. There was only one exit hole. "Where—"

Steve lunged suddenly, catching the assassins across the chest with his outstretched arms and knocking Natasha and Clint on their backs as the hammer soared through another wall, gunning for Thor's outstretched hand.

"Seriously," Steve muttered angrily, pushing to his feet. "Someone is going to get hurt."

"So she caught the hammer," Clint said a little breathlessly, standing and pulling Natasha to her feet. "And then what? Proceeded to throw it?"

"Indeed," Thor said with an exuberant smile.

Tony smirked. "Jarvis, get the contractors on this mess before Pepper sees it."

"Right away, sir," the A.I. replied.

"We're not done here," Steve shouted after Tony as he wandered towards the elevator. "This is not okay, Stark!"

"You're right, Cap. Clearly this kid is Asgardian since she caught Thor's hammer of destruction, but what else? I'm curious. Banner, you curious? Come on," Tony said, calling the elevator to the floor. "Hey, tater-tot!" he called to the girl who was avidly watching the television again, almost oblivious to the heated exchanged and exploding walls. "Come on, we have to dissect you."

"Tony," Natasha warned.

"I'm kidding, Lady Death. We're just going to borrow some blood and a few tissue samples. She won't feel a thing. You can watch if you want."

Natasha scowled at him.

"We should really wait for S.H.I.E.L.D," Bruce said, joining Tony and the girl at the elevator.

Tony waved him off. "She's our little secret right now. No one needs to know." He stepped into the elevator, taking the girl's hand. "To the lab!" he shouted dramatically, laughing like a deluded madman.

Bruce sighed but stepped into the elevator.

A light ringing paused Tony's outstretched hand as it rested over the basement button.

"You gunna answer that?" he asked, eyeing Clint who was staring at his phone like it might explode.

"Who is it?" Steve asked.

Clint looked at Natasha, a silent question passing between them. "Coulson," they said together.

"Answer it," Steve insisted.

"No," Tony shouted.

"If we don't, he'll think something's up," Steve muttered.

"If we do, he'll _know_ something's up," Tony said. "That man knows. He always knows."

"I have to," Clint said. "Or he'll send the helicarrier and half of S.H.I.E.L.D's agents out to look for us."

Tony jerked his head as Clint snapped the phone open. "Coulson," he said evenly. There was a pause in which everyone on the floor held their breath.

"What do you mean something's going on?" Clint said, making sure to keep his voice from rising.

"He knows," Tony mouthed, eyes as wide as dinner plates. "He knows!

* * *

**So what do you think? Like it? Yes. No. Maybe so? Review and let me know if you want more :)**

**Next Chapter: What exactly does Coulson know? Is he on to them? S.H.I.E.L.D knows way too much. Does tater-tot actually have a name? Is she really their weird freaky test tube child? Does anyone find it weird that the Avengers totally haven't freaked out yet? Or is crazy just the new normal for them? Writing this, it seems like they just go with the flow of insanity-after space aliens, this is like a walk in the park, I guess...or so they think...**


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